Sensory Overload vs Sensory Seeking - What Moms Need to Know

Introduction

If you’ve ever watched your child cover their ears at a birthday party one day, and then jump endlessly on the couch the next, you’ve witnessed something that confuses almost every parent. How can one child want less sensory input in some moments and more in others? The answer is simpler than it seems: both behaviors are their nervous system trying to feel balanced.

Children don’t react to sensations to annoy us or to “misbehave.” Their bodies are responding to the world in the only way they know how in that moment. Understanding the difference between sensory overload and sensory seeking doesn’t just help you handle tough situations — it helps you understand your child on a deeper, calmer level.

What Is Sensory Overload?

Sensory overload happens when a child’s brain receives more information than it can process comfortably — too bright, too loud, too busy, too fast, or too unpredictable.

Signs of sensory overload may look like:

• Covering ears or eyes

• Meltdowns, crying, or running away

• Hiding under blankets or behind furniture

• “Freezing” and becoming silent or stiff

• Lashing out because they can’t explain what’s wrong

A meltdown from overload is a nervous system response, not a behavior problem. It’s like being stuck in a giant speaker with the volume turned up too high — the child isn’t choosing how they react.

What Helps During Overload

Think of your child’s body like a phone battery overheating. You don’t force it to keep going — you help it cool down.

Try:

• A quiet room or smaller space

• Headphones or hats to reduce noise/light

• A long, tight hug (but only if they seek touch)

• A predictable routine during busy outings

Calm is the treatment, not pressure.

What Is Sensory Seeking?

Sensory seeking is the brain asking for more — more movement, more touch, more sound, more pressure, more input. Instead of “too much,” it’s “not enough.”

Sensory seeking might look like:

• Jumping from furniture

• Bumping into people or objects

• Wanting tight hugs or wrestling play

• Spinning, swinging, rocking

• Crashing into pillows or the floor

• Chewing on shirts, toys, or fingers

Seeking isn’t hyperactivity or bad behavior. It’s the nervous system trying to regulate itself through action, movement, and strong sensations.

What Helps During Sensory Seeking

Instead of trying to stop the behavior, offer safe, structured ways to fill the bucket.

Try:

• Crash pads made from pillows or soft mats

• Trampolines or jumping steps

• Chewable sensory jewelry

• Weighted blankets or vests (short periods only)

• Swing time at the park or playground

These don’t “encourage bad habits.” They satisfy a need that won’t disappear just because we try to stop it.

Why a Child Can Experience Both

It’s normal for a child to be overloaded in one moment and seeking more sensations later. Imagine a person who hates loud interruptions but loves blasting their favorite song in headphones — different input affects us in different ways.

For autistic or sensory-sensitive children, the world can switch from “too much” to “not enough” very quickly. Think of it like hunger and fullness. Both are valid states; they just require different responses.

What matters most is not labeling the child, but responding to the needs their body is communicating.

What Moms Can Do in the Moment

Here’s a simple, no-stress way to respond without second-guessing yourself:

1. Observe the Behavior

Is your child covering, hiding, squinting, crying?
Or are they jumping, chewing, rolling, crashing?

2. Label the Sensation (Not the Child)

Say calm phrases like:

• “That sound feels too loud.”

• “Your body wants big movement right now.”

• “You need quiet.”

• “You need pressure.”

Naming the need teaches your child how to express it later.

3. Meet the Need Safely

Instead of battling the behavior, redirect it:

• If overwhelmed → reduce input

• If seeking → add input

This approach prevents meltdowns instead of reacting to them.

Sensory Needs Are Not “Bad Behaviors”

A child who chews on their shirt isn’t being destructive.
A child who screams at loud noises isn’t being dramatic.
A child who runs or jumps isn’t trying to disobey.

Their nervous system is talking to you.

Instead of punishment or discipline, they need options and support. Sensory needs aren’t something to fix — they’re something to understand.

How to Talk About Sensory Needs with Teachers & Family

Sometimes well-meaning adults assume these behaviors are intentional misbehavior.

You can help them understand by using phrases like:

• “He’s not trying to be rough. His body needs pressure right now.”

• “She covers her ears when she’s overwhelmed, not when she’s being rude.”

• “We’re not trying to stop the behavior — we’re giving him a safe way to do it.”

When people understand the need, they respect the child more.

You Don’t Need a Perfect Plan

Even therapists and professionals with years of training don’t always predict sensory needs correctly — and that’s okay. You don’t have to anticipate every reaction or build the perfect environment.

Just respond with curiosity instead of judgment.

Every day you learn more about what helps your child feel safe, regulated, and understood. That’s real support. That’s real parenting.

And that’s more than enough.